It’s a new week.
Spring break is over.
Time to get serious about preparing for the Qualifier.
Time to get serious about living and loving life.
Rain is almost gone, sun will shine again.
Take advantage.
I know I will.

Cheers
–Justin

A constant battle of emotion
Gurgling up from the stomach
suppressed by the emphatic gulp
to send it all back down

It’s like the heart and stomach are somehow connected
when the heart aches,
the stomach sends help up to provide comfort
only to realize the esophagus has other plans

Stuck in between loneliness
and what feels like indigestion
the brain can be nothing but confused
or maybe not? after all, the brain is all-controlling

Sure I’m not the first person to confront
this issue of love-loss, and I wouldn’t claim that either.
Take heed though: there are a lot more subtleties
than anyone could have prepared to handle.

Again, life goes on and somehow we’ve got to pull ourselves out of it.
I wouldn’t wish what happened to me on my worst enemy.

Think about it – the bond between two persons, it’s ultimately a blind bond. You don’t know what the other person truly thinks; especially when it’s as complicated as severing the bond of a lengthy relationship. You’d think such an observant person as myself would be able to pick up on these hidden feelings, but alas, I failed. I failed miserably. I got blind-sided like an innocent victim of a drunk driving accident. I was absolutely oblivious to the intentions of my supposed life partner. The irony of the whole situation is that I was just getting used to the idea of a long distance relationship, despite my abhorrence of the idea initially, a year or two ago when she wanted to transfer. Sure, the distance has an obvious nonzero effect on the relationship, but I just got past that by thinking of our future together. Apparently that wasn’t the case for her. Not much I can do about that.

She did it. She ended it. Three years of love lost in the blink of an eye, the sigh of relief on her end was all but heart-stopping on my end. Disentangling the human connections which have been made under the cover of family/friendly ties will be utterly mind-numbing. I haven’t even the slightest idea how to go about this endeavor.

Cold, lonely, and confused; my mind is stuck in an infinite loop of questions without answers.

The arrow of time never stops, shit, it never even slows down; not for you — and certainly not for me.
We’ve got roughly 80-100 years to live – don’t take any of it for granted.

Cheers,
–Justin